I am single. I have been for a long time. Although I do not consider this to be a curse, I do see it as somewhat of an abnormality since one of God’s first degrees was, "It is not good that man should be alone (Genesis 2:18).
For clarification, Paul’s clear inference in I Corinthians 7 is that single Christians are not lesser than their married counterparts. As a matter of fact, he clearly states that singleness provides us freedoms and opportunities to serve Him in less encumbered ways. Therein lays a great truth to be grasped and applied: While single we should embrace what it offers us in Christ. We can image forth Jesus through service and ministries that those married don’t always have the time for. That’s great news if we integrate this principle into our single lives and pursue the most meaningful of relationships – the one with Him.
Do I yearn for earthly companionship? Absolutely! Sometimes that void is painful and lonely. My problem is the priority of my pursuing. When I attempt to orchestrate an earthly partnership first, as opposed to deep and rich fellowship with God, I find failure. In that process I cease treasuring Him above all things. When that happens, I start to stink.
Read Ephesians 5:1-2. When I digest this passage I know why my life is not a sweet fragrance in the nostrils of our majestic Lord. Externally I have attempted to attract others but internally I have not fallen obediently (an imitator), humbly (as a child), adoringly (a life of love) and sacrificially (He gave himself up) in love with Jesus. I do not exude a beautiful and attractive aroma because I am not smitten with Him. I do not have the desperate and transforming need for His presence and grace. I am not worshipping Him. I am not seeking His glory. This is why I stink
Often we do much externally to attract God’s life partner for us. We primp (including deodorant), we parade and we speak properly (sometimes "spiritually") but so rarely attract others. Why? It’s because, we lack the internal beauty and fragrance of being enamored with Jesus. He is hidden in our self –gratifying chase to find a meaningful relationship outside of Him? It’s not that we can’t have both. But our first priority must be falling more in love with Him. That’s when we become lovelier and less pungent. Because our potential life partner will not be satisfied with us until we are most satisfied in God!
This principle is at work in two Biblical love sagas– the stories of Rebekah and Ruth. Neither was seeking a mate. Instead they were focused on carrying out their duties before God. They were showing genuine and self-denying service to others. One was drawing water at a well and the other gleaning from the fields for her family. Neither was wearing their most titillating outfit, hair fashionably styled or makeup freshened. They were probably in work clothes and perspiring (women perspire whereas men sweat). But, emanating from them was a sweet fragrance. The men God had intended for them (Isaac and Boaz) were entranced by their aroma – the beautiful smell in their humble state of sacrifice. .
So what does this mean for us? We do well to pursue God only with all of our adoration and desires. We need to be desperate for Him. In that we will have an indescribable joy. His peace and image will be evident. Our lives become a selfless journey of faith that’s saturated with His presence. We find our worth completely in His. We seek His glory as our only purpose and thankful response to His grace. Now that’s attractive!
So what about God ordained marriage? I believe if my life demonstrates a passion for Jesus a compelling fragrance is unmistakable. Then my God-sent partner may be just around the corner. I may not see her because I’m so captivated by Jesus. But He will. And He will point her out to me. If He so wills. And if not, then I have Him. Forever! And who should really ask for more than that?
